Being part of a couple is hard work, and it requires work and commitment. After the "newness" of the relationship, some people realize that they are not as compatible as they previously thought. Or they encounter issues that they never thought would be possible. Or the couple is unable to take care of their relationship due to things such as jobs and children. These difficulties are certainly not unusual.

Couples counseling may go a long way toward strengthening and even saving the relationship. 

Unfortunately, it's not a guarantee. 

Like any other type of counseling, both parties must be willing to undergo couples counseling. Ideally, they must have decided for themselves that, instead of giving up and going their own way, they wish to work on the relationship and address the problems.

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According to the Gottman's, of the Gottman Institute, unhappy couples wait an average of 6 years before getting help in their relationship.

Oftentimes, by then it can be too late. 

 Sometimes couples come in for counseling as a "last ditch effort" and one party has pretty much checked out of the relationship. If/when this happens it's going to take longer to get through. So, people entering into couples counseling need to have realistic expectations with regard to the counseling process. 

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Here are some examples of how couples counseling can work. 

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• Counseling helps couples take time out of their busy lives and come together to really focus on themselves.

• The counselor acts as a sort of mediator between the couple.  As any mediator, the counselor will try to remain neutral and hear both sides of the story. This type of style allows facilitates healthy and effective communication. It is particularly helpful when couples are set on improving their relationships but are not sure how to go about doing so.

• The counselor can help to observe the behavioral patterns of the couples and identify those which lead to conflict. Once this is done, the couple can work with the counselor to look for ways to make some much-needed changes.

• In real estate, they say "location, location, location" because it's one of the most important things to a homeowner due to wanting the most value for their money. In couples counseling, we say "communication, communication, communication". Effective communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. In counseling, we will look at how you both communicate and find out tricks and hints to communicate better. 

• What you learn in couples counseling is helpful as it gives you a more realistic picture of your partner. This can help prevent misunderstandings and avoid poor communications. 

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